Be Radical

If a tree falls on a mime...

2011-03-08T10:52:00.000-08:00

I'm currently brainstorming a new short story, inspired by two of my favorite people - my dad and my son. For some reason, I haven't had the urge to write much in the past year and a half or so. But all of a sudden, a couple of nights ago, ideas came rushing into my head suddenly. And now they must come out. If I like it enough, I may put it up on here. So stay tuned.

The real reason for today's post is actually pretty exciting: Japanese Mimes. I think I'm going to have to say that phrase again just so it sinks in: Japanese Mimes. Japanese. Mimes. Wow. Good luck not laughing.

(Oh and the language may be a little NSFW. As always, I don't condone the use of coarse language. So if you get your mouth washed out with soap by your mother because you were repeating something you heard on this site - it's your own dumb fault. Don't come crying to me about it.)

A little break

2011-02-24T13:20:00.000-08:00

So I was taking a little break from studying to fill out reviews on classes and teachers from this semester, and I would like to share a few excerpts with you. Unfortunately, some of these did not actually make it in my final submissions.

Please never invite Dr. [redacted] to lecture again. This was the worst lecture I have heard ever. I have heard people lecture in undergrad, med school, and every Sunday for 26 years, and never have I been so torn between destroying the PA system to prevent everyone else from suffering or ripping my ears off and stuffing them in my external auditory meatus to prevent my own further suffering. When half the class leaves during the break to never return and the other half wakes up after break and realizes that they missed their opportunity to leave and let out a collective wail of despair, you know something is amiss.

Then there was this little gem:

If Dr. [redacted]'s name is on the schedule for next semester, I will gladly take the loss of points rather than submit myself to the auditory torture that was her last lecture.

Or how about:

The tests for this class did not accurately reflect the presented material. It was as if they stapled the lecture notes to the wall and then hired Stevie Wonder to throw darts at them. Wherever the darts struck was what was tested, regardless of relevance.

And lest you think that it's all bad out here:

When Dr. [redacted] told me in front of everyone that I was going to great in this class, I was elated. When he added the part about me doing great as I repeated the class again next year, I was a little less excited. A small part of me died that day.

Oh wait, that wasn't as happy as I intended. Let's try one last one:

Dr. [redacted] really improved his lecturing. If he continues to lecture the way he did for his final lecture of the semester, I will be fighting to sit in the front row just so a little of his awesomeness might diffuse into me. He was funny, poignant, and concise. I may just consider naming my next child after him, regardless of gender.

It's kinda like a kick in the pants, but more fun

2010-12-18T20:11:00.000-08:00

Rather than study for my Pharm exam on Monday, I decided to call up the old blog and waste some time. It's interesting to note that my blogging significantly decreased once I started med school. I thought I would use writing as an escape, but instead I slowly abandoned it. The posts grew fewer and farther between until eventually they just stopped. That is, until tonight. Oh yeah, I'm back baby!

Since my last post, a lot of big changes have occurred. The biggest and most important item is the imminent arrival of my son. Matthew Ernest Ihms is due in six days! I am so incredibly excited to have a son of my very own. Now I won't have to dress up Turk in little baby clothes so I can go to Peter Piper Pizza and play in the ball pit. This is gonna be awesome.

Also, I gave a guy a prostate exam. That was exciting. Just when I thought med school was boring, WHAM! out of nowhere we have to do things like that. I thought it was just, "Take some medicine" or "You'll be fine, you just need to stop jumping on your trampoline while on a pogo stick". You know, simple doctor stuff. I didn't think I would be invading the unholy nether regions of a geriatric human lab rat. And don't even get me started on the 2 days of sports physicals. "Hi, turn your head and cough. Next. Hi, turn your head and cough. Next." That was a break from the status quo.

Coincidentally, the reason for the "turn your head" part? It's a lot more mundane than you would think. It's simply so the patient doesn't cough on the doc's head while he's jingling your bells. (I hope you appreciate the Christmas reference I just worked in there)

While this has been therapeutic, I really need to get back to studying. Maybe more posts will come, maybe not. Before I go, let me tell you a little about caffeine, which is one of the drugs I am currently studying. It can cure headaches! It is vasoconstrictor, so when you have a headache, it can help relieve the pressure building up in your head. This explains why people, like me, get a headache when they haven't had caffeine for a day, it's because your body is so used to having vasoconstriction, that the apparent vasodilation causes your head to pound due to the increased blood flow and pressure it bring. The obvious moral to this little snippet? Constantly drink caffeine. It will make you feel better.

Holy bat-saber

2010-03-23T12:40:00.000-07:00

My wife said I needed to post. So this is what happens when you force creativity: nothing. I have a big neuro exam at 6:30am tomorrow that I need to study for, so not much is gonna happen today. Without further ado, I leave you with this...

Becoming holy

2010-03-22T06:00:00.000-07:00

Every time I read the title to this post, I see "Becoming Holly". It sounds like I'm undergoing a major life change through surgery. But I'm having trouble thinking of a better title.

I've started reading "The Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas for the first time. While I'm only midway through the second chapter, I'm already amazed that I haven't read this before. It is amazing. So far his main premise has been that the function of marriage is not to make us happy (although that can be an awesome bonus), but rather marriage is designed to bring us closer to God; it is designed to make us holy.

As I progress through the book and learn more, I'll update on here. For now, as I examine my own marriage and consider how God is using it to make me holy, I can definitely see changes being made. If nothing else, marriage has forced me to confront the sin in my life. Having someone who lives with me and is constantly around me, forces my sin to surface and leaves me with no choice but to confront it and deal with it. Thankfully I have a wonderful wife who is very supportive of me during this holification (I made that word up) process.

And even though confronting sin is not always so much fun, I'm pretty sure that being made holy is much better than becoming holly.

Get excited

2010-03-15T12:48:00.000-07:00

The plan is to return to blogging daily. I haven't quite hashed out all the details yet, but by next week, I'm hoping to start it up again. Until then, here's an awesome video.

First post of twenty-ten

2010-01-07T16:50:00.001-08:00

Happy new year. I hope you can speak English better than these guys.

dominick the italian christmas donkey

2009-12-19T09:12:00.000-08:00

To be perfectly honest, you're gonna hate me for this one. Seriously I can't get the chorus out of my head... sorry.

Silent monks

2009-12-15T21:01:00.000-08:00

Pretty funny stuff.

More muppets

2009-12-11T09:05:00.001-08:00

I like to think there is no upper limit on age for liking the muppets. Actually, I think the real crime is not that I, as a 25 year old male, like the muppets, but that anyone could not like the muppets. That would be a travesty. Anyway, enjoy.

The Passenger

2009-12-09T15:31:00.000-08:00

This video is pretty sweet. It took over eight years to make and won Best Animation at the 2006 Los Angeles International Short Film Festival and Best Australian Film at the 2008 Melbourne International Animation Festival. If you're a scaredy-cat like me, don't watch this at night. I'm such a pansy...

You've been wondering the same thing...

2009-12-07T15:24:00.000-08:00

Either you get this, or you are really young and have no idea how to solve a problem like Maria. (Click to make bigger)

Supplies!

2009-11-30T15:22:00.000-08:00

A little late in the day, and I usually don't condone the use of cats on a site for any reason whatsoever. But, this is really more of a kitten, so I figured it would fly.

Ants can count better than you

2009-11-28T15:17:00.000-08:00

This video, done by NPR, is simple and explains a very cool concept - ants can count. It's rather amazing.

You can be my elf...

2009-11-24T06:00:00.000-08:00

Good luck getting this one out of your head.

Nancy Boys

2009-11-23T06:00:00.000-08:00

Isn't that a wonderful title? The beginning of this video is a little slow. In fact, it looks a lot like a couple of dudes prancing around in tights. And then WHAM! Out of nowhere they hit you with a left hook and you just can't believe what is happening. My beautiful wife actually broke out in spontaneous applause as she watched. So stick with it, it gets better.

Muppets

2009-11-10T19:31:00.001-08:00

And then they made me their chief...

2009-10-12T11:36:00.000-07:00

Why yes, it has been a while since this site has been active. Whatever. This video is amazing and I just had to post it. As usual, I don't condone lying or any other of the unscrupulous morals presented in here.

Now smarter than before

2009-09-08T08:34:00.000-07:00

I was asked last night if I was ever going to start blogging again. I think I have been waiting for inspiration to strike. The bad news, inspiration hasn't so much as flicked me. Nothing. Nada. Not even a little tickle. Truth be told, life has been a little busy.

Since I last posted, I started med school. Already I have had three tests and I have another today at noon. It's amazing how much knowledge has been crammed into my head in just a short month. Am I smarter? Hard to say. But I do know a lot more than I did a month ago. Even though it's the hardest challenge I have ever tackled in my life, I enjoy it.

I spend most of my free time studying. But this past weekend, I had time to relax a little. I had time to process life up to this point. It was good to unwind and clear my muddled head. And so, after a month long hiatus, I think I finally feel ready to post again.

Quickie

2009-08-10T21:50:00.000-07:00

Today marked the first day of classes at Midwestern. I am now a student doctor. And even though today wasn't too bad, there was a lot of information presented to us in just three hours. This first week we only have two classes so it isn't overwhelming. I am still spending a couple hours studying in the evenings just so I can stay on top of things. My prayer life has definitely gotten better these past couple of weeks in anticipation of all that I have to do. Hopefully I will have more to update tomorrow after I have a full day of classes.

Undead love

2009-08-03T06:45:00.000-07:00

As always, I neither condone violence nor do I advocate being undead. Otherwise, enjoy.

Recycle your VCR

2009-07-21T15:57:00.000-07:00

Step 1: watch video

Step 2: Profit

Finally we are connected to the world

2009-07-10T06:45:00.000-07:00

Sometime today we will finally be connected to the internet for the first time since the big move almost a week ago. I am super excited. Expect bigger and better things next week when I no longer have to send my blogs in to Blogger using morse code and a telegraph. Of course, things have definitely been better since I stopped using that danged, unreliable pony express...

Mr. Ben

2009-07-09T06:45:00.000-07:00

I miss teaching. I really miss the interaction with the students every day. I really started to feel a sense of ownership towards my kids. I have found myself wondering how their next teacher is going to do. Is that person going to know them like I did? Are they going to care like I did? Are they going to give that little extra to make sure that the kids were pushed to learn as much as possible? I hope so.

One of the things I loved the most was the unpredictability of the kids. Every day was a new day, I never knew what they were going to think of next, or where there ambitions would take them. One day, one of my students decided she would be my secretary and subsequently screened everyone who came in the room and took notes on everything that would happen. Another one created a skee ball game out of classroom materials while waiting in line. One of my sixth graders spent an entire week trying to find her "angry face". She never did find it and had to settle for a mix of confused and puppy dog.

Teaching is a passion of mine, but for now it has to take a back seat to medicine. I'll be back though. One day, I will teach again and it will be a glorious day.

Bible winner

2009-07-08T06:45:00.000-07:00

I recently bought the new English Standard Version Study Bible, it was World Magazine's"Book of the Year". It is phenomenal.

The commentary is 2/3 of the the book. The introductions to the individual books are lengthy and detailed and help provide context and explore the content deeper. The verse commentaries are helpful and provide explanations in context with the rest of the Bible. The authors of the various commentaries also do an excellent job of not picking sides in controversial areas. They present the facts and tell which opinions are more widely held.

There are also many full color pictures and diagrams in the text. In my brief skimmings, I saw an excellent depiction of Solomon's Temple with a nice break-down of the temple articles. I'm sure there are many more to be found, but I haven't discovered them yet.

With commentary by both Packer and Grudem, among many others, this is an excellent version. I highly recommend it.

Busy and yet not

2009-07-07T06:45:00.000-07:00

Med school starts in a month. I can't wait. I'm ready to get on with this next stage of life. Until then, God has seen fit to give me a time of respite. While I'm soaking it in as much as I can, I know that this is probably the calm before the storm and God knows that I am going to need a little extra rest in the days to come. During the month of July, it is looking like I will be spending lots of time with my wife putting together our new apartment, enjoying God, working for Bios down at Paradise Bakery, and playing basketball.

Working the late shift at the Donor Network has been most excellent. I go to bed at 10 or 11 pm, sleep for a couple of hours and then I usually get paged in around 1 or 2 in the morning. I work for a couple of hours and usually make it home by 6 or 7. I sleep for another couple of hours and my day begins around eleven. I spend some time with my beautiful wife before she leaves for work and then crack open my new study Bible (more on that tomorrow). After spending some quality time with God, Turk and I play outside for a bit and then I head down to Paradise. I work there for a couple of hours and then head to LA Fitness for some basketball. In the evenings, my bride and I work on putting together our new apartment. It's a pretty sweet life right now. The only downside is the lack of acquaintances on this side of town, but we're trusting God that they will come...

Pinky swear

2009-07-06T14:46:00.000-07:00

There has been no posting the past three weeks due to vacations and moving. Regularly scheduled posts will resume tomorrow, pinky swear. A quick update is in order however. My beautiful wife and I moved from Central Phoenix to North Glendale this past week. It was an excellent move, no issues or problems arose. My father, mother, brother, FIG, and MIG were all crucial to everything going so smoothly. We love our new place and there will be more in the future about it. Really. Posting resumes tomorrow. Probably.

Wow, you talk a lot

2009-06-15T16:11:00.000-07:00

First of all, be prepared. This is a long one. But by the end, I discover what is most important (after God).

On July 3rd, my beautiful wife and I are moving. We are leaving the place we have called home for the past year and a half, and are traveling to the west side. It was a difficult decision to make, but in the end it seemed the best by far.

We approached the moving decision process from a number of different angles, and finally narrowed it down to three main points: cost, location, and proximity to friends and family. As far as cost goes, the new place, Sagestone, won by a landslide. We save almost 25% each month by moving. Now that we are going to be poorer students, we decided that saving money was a good idea.

Since Sagestone is located right across the street from my new school, it is strategically located. Where we live now would entail a 20-30 minute drive every morning and every afternoon. Closer is better.

The main downside to Sagestone is that it is far from our family and friends. Really far. This left some serious doubts in our minds for a long time. My in-laws always say, "People are more important." Was saving money and gas more important than being close to those we love? The answer is a resounding no.

So why are we moving? Because in all our calculations, I forgot the most important thing: I am married. (I didn't actually forget that I was married, I just forgot that in the decision process) You see, if I spend an hour a day on the road, and I spend eight intense hours at school, and then I come home and study, and then I go to sleep, and then I wake up and do it all over again, where does that leave my marriage? But if we live across the street from the school, that affords us much more opportunity to spend time with each other. Even if I just have a quick 30 minute break, I can run home and spend time with my wife.

Some friends of my family talk about their med school experience. Like me, the husband went to school, and his wife stayed home. She says it was an incredibly tough time in her life. She never saw her husband. I don't want that for my wife. Now that we are married, my ultimate loyalty is to her (after God). She must come before my parents, my siblings, and my other friends. When all is said and done, if I have to choose one or the other, I will always choose her. Since this seems best for our marriage, we have chosen to move.

The good news is that the decision is not an all or nothing one. We can still have friends and family. We will just have to work a little harder at keeping those relationships healthy. But, in the long run it should be easier on our marriage. I should be able to better love my wife and take care of her. And that's what is most important.

To the graduates

2009-06-11T11:14:00.000-07:00

This is an excellent commencement speech. Take notes.

Recessions bring out the best

2009-06-10T06:45:00.000-07:00

This is just messed up...

We're moving & Africa (not related)

2009-06-09T19:22:00.000-07:00

Busy day today. Sorry for the late post. My beautiful wife and I spent the morning packing and then while she was at work I signed the papers for us to move into our new apartment. Wahoo. Anyway, this video is pretty sweet. Even to my untrained ears, some of the voices seem a little off, but the sound effects are nifty. Enjoy.

Dancing Koreans

2009-06-08T09:08:00.000-07:00

School just got out for summer and today is my first official day off. Sort of. I am still working at the Donor Network on the 10p-6a shift, but during the days I am a free man. To celebrate, here is a video. Two caveats. First, I did not title this video. The views expressed in the title are not necessarily shared by me. Secondly, give this one a chance, it gets better. You will be amazed at how much free time this office has.

Turks

2009-05-27T11:21:00.000-07:00

Do you people seriously have nothing better to do than write me nasty emails? Just because I have not written anything for the past week, this does not give you license to become vulgar and slanderous. I'm sorry I took away the only bright spot in your otherwise droll lives. My bad. I'm back.

Today's post concerns the future. Tomorrow, I will be holding a strings competition for my 7th through 10th grade students. They will be competing in the first ever "Turk Awards". I have crafted some rather nifty awards which I will put up pictures of tomorrow. Also there will be a small prize to accompany the award, probably movie passes or something of that nature.

The students have been divided into duets, trios, and quartets. They will be judged on how well they play technically and on how well they interpret their assigned piece. Judging the competition will be my fantastic brother, probably my beautiful wife, and me. This is the first time I have ever put on something like this. It should be a lot of fun.

Tomorrow's post will have pics of the awards as I finish making them. On Friday, I hope to have a short video montage of the competition. It's shaping up to me a pretty good week after all.

Brothers

2009-05-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

It's a little late for Mother's day, but I laughed a lot at this video.

Sometimes, nature is just fascinating

2009-05-14T06:00:00.000-07:00

Okay kids, lesson time. Violence is bad. Punching, kicking, biting and the like are not actions we condone on this blog. With that said, enjoy this documentary about some of the most amazing creatures created by God.

Watch more cool animation and creative cartoons at Aniboom

Count 'em: 1-2-3

2009-05-13T06:00:00.000-07:00

Today, my beautiful wife and I celebrate our third anniversary. At the first anniversary, we were still in our honeymoon phase. Life was wonderful and lovey dovey. For our second anniversary, we had no money, but we were in love. Life was wonderful and lovey dovey. Now that we have reached our third year, things are different. We have even less money now. Life is more wonderful. And we are still madly in love (and by that, I mean that we are still infatuated with one another.) Our love (the verb kind) is stronger than ever, and we are both getting better at it. To top it all off, we have achieved a small level of legitimacy. A marriage that has lasted for three years is a pretty amazing thing these days.

I credit God with getting us this far. Before we got married, I received two pieces of advice that have made all the difference. The first, which has helped us in our infrequent arguments, is something my in-laws told us. They said, "Remember, when you two are married, you have each other. It's you two against the world. Other people are going to come and go, but you will have each other. When things get tough, it's you two, together, as one, against the world."

The second best piece of advice I was given was to pray. Pray every day that God would help me fall more in love with my wife, and that I would be most attracted to her; that in my eyes, she would be the most beautiful woman in the world. I love her more now than ever, and I have never seen anyone more beautiful.

Three years of marriage? Yeah, I'd recommend it.

My first concert

2009-05-12T06:45:00.000-07:00

This past semester I have been teaching strings to kindergarten through tenth grade. That's right, violin, viola, and cello skills are also part of my repertoire. From the end of January to last night, I have been instructing them in the ways of the musical artist. Over and over again I have drilled theory, composers, and music into their heads. They have spent the past three and a half months training, preparing, and studying to be concert performers.

Last night, my little padawans displayed their newfound talents magnificently. We started off the program with a rousing rendition of "Hot Cross Buns", that song that evokes memories of yesteryear. From there, "Merrily We Roll Along" and "Mozart Serenade" dazzled the audience and finished up the kindergarten through third grade class. The fourth through sixth graders rocked the house with "Classical Bash", a compilation of classical themes. And finally, my junior high and high school orchestra serenaded the audience with "Pirates of the Caribbean" and "Autumn" from Vivaldi's Four Seasons.

God really blessed me with a great first concert. The kids did an excellent job, and their parents seemed happy. But, for now, I think this will be my last concert as well.

Yeeeek

2009-05-11T06:00:00.000-07:00

Strings concert tonight. Should be amazing. Details tomorrow.

iPhone home

2009-05-08T06:45:00.000-07:00

First of all, I love my iPod. Second, I wish I had an iPhone. Third, I wish AT&T wasn't the carrier for the iPhone, because frankly, they have horrible coverage. Fourth, this commercial, that will never be, is funny.

As much fun as the mall

2009-05-07T12:02:00.000-07:00

My beautiful wife got off work early last night. Instead of watching a movie, or playing with Turk, or something normal, we had some fun with Photobooth. Good times.

Jumble of news

2009-05-05T06:45:00.000-07:00

Short post today, sorry. I should have more for the rest of the week. Anyway, here is a quick update on life along with my thoughts. I am going to med school starting in August. My beautiful wife is now a professional nanny. We may move. We may not. We have been blessed with great jobs. We have an adorable puppy named Turk. We do not have kids. I like that for now. I played basketball in high school. I lost in a basketball shooting contest on Saturday to a fourth grader. I have my first strings concert next Monday. It is also my last concert. My students sound amazing. My headphones for my iPod went kaput so now I ride my bike in silence. Thirty miles is a long time to listen to the wind. Wolverine is a good movie. But not great. My wife has the most beautiful laugh. I need a new blue pen. Fifth graders can be devious. Arizona is hot in the summer.

A new me

2009-05-01T06:45:00.000-07:00

I decided to see what I would like if I went in for cosmetic surgery on a bad hair day. This is the result. Before on the left, after on the right. Cool.

Welcome to Thursday

2009-04-30T06:45:00.000-07:00

It's Thursday already. That will be all I have to say for today. Click here to make yourself awesome like me.

Food for funsies

2009-04-29T06:45:00.000-07:00

Bored? Try making some food. I found a site that is very helpful - it generates random recipes! How cool is that? Here are my favorites so far.*

Bananas Sandwich

Serves 3

You will need:

4 bananas
100g beef

Instructions:

pre-heat the oven to 230 C
discard the bananas
toast the beef
bake for 30 minutes and serve hot

Yum.

Spicy Grapes Cakes

Serves 1

You will need:

80ml whipped cream
50ml apple sauce
20ml lemonade
80g grapes

Instructions:

pre-heat the oven to 180 C
eat the apple sauce
barbeque the lemonade
defrost the whipped cream
discard the grapes
bake for 50 minutes and serve hot

Double Yum.

*Please understand that I am not as stupid as I look or sound, nasty comments insulting my intelligence will not be appreciated but may be laughed at if funny enough. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, read the recipe again and pay attention to the details this time. That is all.

Not quite what we were hoping for

2009-04-28T11:56:00.000-07:00

The filming for Turk is still happening. In fact it should happen this afternoon. Parts of it should be done anyway.

The reason it is not done is because I had to take a test at the Donor Network yesterday. Basically it was a competency test - do I know how to do my job on paper? It wasn't too hard, except for the part about age limits and minimums for donors. These requirements seem to change every week, so it is fairly difficult to keep up with. Usually we have a printed out cheat sheet that I can use. So I'm pretty sure I flunked that portion. The rest of it I should have done pretty well on though.

The test took me almost an hour and a half to complete, so I didn't have time to shoot outside shots last night since I also went to a D-Back's game. My mother-in-law rented a suite which was pretty awesome. It made going to a baseball game fun. Anyway, tonight I just have BS so I should get to work on the video.

Update

2009-04-27T17:45:00.000-07:00

UPDATE: The shooting for the Turk video has not been completed yet. I won't be doing any more tonight either. My bad.

Say it ain't so!

2009-04-27T06:45:00.000-07:00

You have been waiting for today since last week. Each day you have ripped away the pages of your Far Side daily calendar in eager anticipation of this glorious morning. You probably raced to the computer anxiously waiting for it to boot up. Then you typed in beradical.blogspot.com and with barely contained excitement you watched the page load. Today is the day the new Turk video comes out! Right? Well, to be perfectly honest, that's not entirely true. In fact, it might be more true to say that today is not the day the new Turk video comes out.

In other words, I began working on the video early last week. Turk's agent wouldn't let me shoot on Wednesdays and he had a meeting with some big studio exec on Thursday, but eventually we got all the filming done. As I began to edit the scenes and cut the film, I realized that what we had made was truly mind boggling. Pardon my french, but it stunk worse than poope. On Saturday I made the call to corporate and they agreed, we needed to reshoot the entire thing. After hanging up, I knew heads were gonna roll.

All this to say, Turk and I spent yesterday shooting the new scenes and I will be editing tonight and tomorrow. Expect the video sometime on Tuesday. It should be up on YouTube and BeRadical by lunch and will be on Facebook by dinner.

Change is in the air

2009-04-26T14:09:00.000-07:00

This past week BeRadical underwent major cosmetic surgery. However, rest assured that none of the critical aspects of the blog have been changed. You can still expect the same sporadic posting, the same inane writing, and the same snarky comments that have been a trademark of this site since the very beginning.

On a side note, does that picture make me look a little like a cross between a starving artist and some mentally anguished emo? Sigh.

TURK

2009-04-21T06:45:00.000-07:00

Here it is, my masterpiece. Expect another one soon. I am still looking for a name for the series. If you have any good ideas, let me know.

2009-04-20T07:00:00.000-07:00

If some of you were "lucky" enough to experience the ads on my site, my bad. The problem has been rectified and the person in charge of that was shot. We are looking into solutions that will allow me to make millions off of posting while not offending any visitors. For those of you who felt the need to write nasty emails, my inbox is full. Stop sending them to me. Seriously. Some of you are quite imaginative, I will give you guys that.

On another note, the project I have decided to code name "Tyrannical Underling, Ready for Keelhauling" or T.U.R.K. for short, will not make its debut quite yet. The video portion is done, and, too be completely honest and in a moment of complete humbleness, it is one of the most amazing works of video ever to grace the face of this earth. However, the sound isn't quite ready yet. I still need to decide how the main character will sound and what the theme song should be. Then I have to write the script and record it. Soooo, probably by tonight it should be done. Look for it tomorrow.

HELP

2009-04-19T16:09:00.001-07:00

I am making a video series starring Turk. I need your help coming up with a name. Submit your entries in the comment area and the winner will get a guest appearance on the show in a future episode.

Love hurts

2009-04-17T11:33:00.000-07:00

My wife has been in Vegas for most of the week at a conference for her business. She flew out early Wednesday morning and will come back late Saturday. I have really missed her a lot and it has surprised me. I thought that since it was only for four days, it wouldn't be too bad. But truly, as husband and wife, we have become one. Half of me is missing. It sucks. I didn't realize how much I really missed her until yesterday.

Last night I took Turk out to go to the bathroom right before going to bed. We went through the whole routine of putting on his collar and then fastening his leash and then waiting at the door for my command. When I opened the door, Turk bolted outside as usual. Stumbling off balance after him, it wasn't until I had fallen off the front step that I looked around me. Seeing Jamie's car parked right in front of the apartment, my heart stopped. If the car was there, she must be around as well! My eyes searched anxiously around the parking lot for just a couple of seconds before I stopped, heartbroken. She had flown to Vegas, of course the car was in the parking lot. It had been there all night. I was crushed.

It was a crazy feeling - going from heart pounding excitement to utter disappointment in a matter of seconds. Love is a wonderful thing, but sometimes love hurts. I don't think Jamie will be going on any vacations without me any time soon, or in the near future, or ever.

Half man, half robot

2009-04-13T08:17:00.000-07:00

This is pretty amazing. When I was younger, my grandfather had a stroke and became paralyzed from the waist down. While he eventually gained some motility using a wheelchair, I could see how something like this could completely change a person's way of life.

Although it looks a little funky at first glance, I'm kinda thinking that if I didn't have stairs in my house, one of those would be pretty fun...

Terminated

2009-04-09T10:49:00.000-07:00

This site is super awesome. You can terminate yourself! If you have a webcam, this site becomes very easy, if not, you may have to manipulate existing pictures to become smaller. Here are two I put together. Enjoy.

Friends without a pic

2009-04-03T10:50:00.000-07:00

Two posts in one day? I'm not feeling well, so I decided to post twice. Does that make sense? I hope so.

Last night we celebrated my brother's birthday. It got me thinking about college. Is there any other time of life when you are surrounded almost exclusively by peers and have excess free time? I think not. Unless you count a nursing home - but I don't. It's a great time for making friends.

The phat brother gets old

2009-04-03T07:00:00.000-07:00

Today is my little brother's birthday. He turns the ripe old age of 23. Good job getting old little buddy!

SHOUT outs

2009-04-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

UPDATE: Now with fixed link goodness.

These are the blogs I read on a daily basis.

ER Stories (May contain graphic images of blood and guts)

Thanks to these sites for providing me with endless hours of entertainment.

Women are so lucky

2009-03-31T11:59:00.000-07:00

In my "daily" devotions and in my ponderings, I have noticed that there are few, if any, good examples of being a husband in the Bible. Men do a lot of cool things in the Bible, they kill giants, overthrow evil empires, slay ferocious lions, live in palaces, and run races. What they don't do is show a good example of how to be a husband. It seems to me that one of the defining characteristics of a true manly man is how well he treats his wife and the type of husband he is. He can do a lot of manly things, but it takes a real man to be a good husband.

Lets take a few examples from some of the more well known biblical figures. David (who I am reading about currently) marries a woman and then leaves her behind when he goes on the run from the law. While he is out, he marries two other women. Once he becomes king, he cheats on his current wives in the whole Bathsheba debacle.

Abraham, the great patriarch, allowed his wife to become friendly with Egypt's pharaoh in order to guarantee safe passage. Adam (you know, the apple guy) stood by and watched his wife blatantly disobey God, and then decided to do the same thing himself. Solomon marries a bazillion women, hardly a model of faithfulness or self-restraint.

The only man I can think of that comes close to being a good husband is Joshua. In a time of crisis, he proclaims to all the people that he and his family will continue to serve the Lord. He shows good leadership, but after that nothing is said about his interaction with his family.

Women on the other hand have all sorts of good examples of how to be a good wife and they get to do really cool stuff. One woman kills an evil king by smashing his face with a huge rock. Neat.

(Before I get too far in this section, I get most of my pics doing an image search on google, like Chuck, who was found searching for "Manly man". I was going to do a search for "Excellent wife" and then I realized, I already have a picture of that on my comp...)

There are women in the Bible who save their husbands from their own stupidity. Actually, that is one of the main things excellent wives seem to do. Esther does that using her beauty and womanly charms and Abigail does that using her business skills and diplomacy. Proverbs has a whole chapter dedicated to how an excellent wife should look. Ruth shows how a woman leaves her family to become united with her husband. And Potiphar's wife shows us why you shouldn't have attractive, young, male servants/slaves hanging around the house.

Is this why my beautiful wife seems to be so perfect? Because she has so many good biblical examples? Or is it my lack of good biblical examples and having to make everything up as I go along approach that lies in stark contrast? (To be fair, I have many good examples of how to be a good husband in my life - my dad and my father-in-law, and many others) I'm not complaining about how the Bible was written, God did an excellent job with his first book (I'm told it has sold a lot of copies), I just wonder why good husbands seem to be hard to find and women make such great wives.

Answered

2009-03-23T11:09:00.000-07:00

Lately I have begun praying a lot more. This has been a good thing. For a while one of the all- consuming desires in my heart was the idea of getting in to medical school. It seemed that was all I prayed about (not really, but it came up a lot). Once I got the acceptance letter, I found that I wasn't taking the little times throughout the day to pray like a I had before. This past week, while I was on spring break, I began to work on my relationship with God. Every morning I woke up and opened up my Bible. After reading, I would pray that God would awaken a desire in me to be passionate about a relationship with him.

This morning, I was worried about getting up earlier in order to have my quiet time. When my alarm went off, I was super tired and hit the snooze button. But something pulled me out of bed a few minutes later (a figurative something, not literally). After I finished getting ready, I found I still had 20 extra minutes. So I sat down on the couch, grabbed my Bible, and began to read.

I read somewhere about how important it is to pray before reading. Now, whenever I read I pray for two specific things. First I pray that God will speak to me through his word. And second, I pray that God will help me to take joy in reading and that it would be a delight to me. So far God has been good.

While today was fairly easy, I know it will be hard some days to get up early. I tend to enjoy my sleep. With help I can keep it up. All I can do is keep praying.

Visiting the principal

2009-03-19T12:53:00.000-07:00

So I got called into to see my boss at the Donor Network last week. Normally if she has anything to say to me, she will just send out a quick email. When I saw the request asking me to come in to see her, I became a little apprehensive. Everything I had done wrong at work flashed through my mind. There were two things I could think of - I had made a mistake when wrapping an instrument tray and I had gone around to all the chairs in the common area and lowered them to their lowest setting. Just kidding. I didn't actually do the last one but it is a pretty good idea now that I think of it.

I spent the entire day wondering why I was being called in because of a tray. I shouldn't have made the mistake, but it was a problem easily rectified. It maybe deserved a harshly worded email or dropping me temporarily as a friend on facebook. Why did I have to go to her office?

Directly after school, I made the trip from Gilbert to Phoenix. When I got to the office, I waited for just a bit, before being called in to see my boss. I felt like I was back in third grade being called in to see the principal for putting fire works in the toilet. (They never could prove it was me...) My palms were sweating and my heart sped up in anxious anticipation. She greeted me pleasantly and made small talk about me getting in at Midwestern. After a few moments, she got serious and asked me to shut the door. Uh oh.

With a somber expression, she looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Do you have any concerns about DNA? I have heard that you criticized the company and wanted to hear what you have to say."

We spoke for a while about some concerns I had, nothing too major, but I told her that I really do like working for DNA. The company tries really hard to honor the dead and make the best use possible of the donated tissue. It is a great company to work for, and my boss, Rhiannon, is one of the best bosses I have had the privilege of working for. She has been very supportive of me in my pursuit of med school and has been flexible in helping me find an optimal work schedule. She is encouraging and has always been very kind.

At the next department meeting, my boss specifically addressed the two issues that I brought up with her and did it in such a way as to hopefully prevent them from happening in the future. The hours are a little rough in tissue recovery, but the work is rewarding and the company that employs me is an excellent company. Truly I am blessed to have such a good job in these tough times.

Whack! Thump!... pandemonium

2009-03-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

Most of you know how much I love pandas. Actually, it's really not so much that I love pandas, it's that I love the word pandemonium. It makes me think of a bunch of little pandas bashing each other over the head with bamboo sticks. Heheh. What a great mental picture.

I found this article about a rare, red panda that was recently born at the Houston Zoo. I have to say that the little fella really is one of the ugliest, despicable, nasty things I have ever seen. Just kidding. You should have seen your face - priceless. That is one cute little panda. Now if only we had some more of them and some bamboo rods this day would be perfect.

Don't be an idiot

2009-03-10T07:00:00.000-07:00

Today's post is about doing stupid things. Don't do them.

What in the world?

2009-03-09T07:00:00.000-07:00

You may be thinking to yourself right now, "Self, I wonder what that woman is doing?" If that is what you are thinking, let me answer that question. She is milking a horse. For horse milk. Like from a cow. But from a horse. Yum? Apparently people in Kazakhstan have been doing this for thousands of years. They ferment the milk and make a delicious alcoholic drink from it called koumiss. (Koumiss Light is basically the same thing, it just tastes like someone added water to the original formula). Click here for a link to the original article by the BBC. What I think everyone is probably wondering right now is what I can't quite figure out - do their rice crispies still snap, crackle, and pop with horse milk? I hope I never find out.

Beginning of the end

2009-03-06T08:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I officially became a student at Midwestern University in Glendale, Arizona. In just four, short years I will graduate from there as a doctor of osteopathic medicine. A lot of thought, angst, and prayer went into making the decision to go to this particular school.

Eventually it came to down to three main things. The most important aspect (other than it being a med school) was that it is in Arizona. Although the school is in Glendale which is in the opposite corner of Phoenix from where our friends and family live, we are both just happy to be able continue to live in Arizona. The second is the school's reputation. Midwestern is one of the best DO schools in the country. They have an excellent pass rate for the boards and they have a history of excellence in education. The final issue that weighed in heavily was its philosophy of medicine. I chose not to go the traditional MD route and instead went the DO path for a number of reasons, which I will share in a future post. For now, let's just say that it lines up more with the way I view life.

And so I am now an AZCOM (Arizona College of Osteopathic Medicine) student. I signed my life away yesterday. Now come some even harder decisions - where to live, how to pay for school, and when to have kids. Oh boy.

Rugby?

2009-03-05T08:00:00.000-08:00

First off, I don't really get all the rules of rugby. Secondly, it seems like a pretty awesome game. Thirdly, the US hosted an international rugby tournament in San Diego two weekends ago and I happened to watch some of it. Fourthly, we should have more rugby on tv. Fifthly, here is a cool rugby commercial put out by snickers.

Snickers - Rugby from Spy Films on Vimeo.

Celebration

2009-03-04T07:00:00.000-08:00

My beautiful wife turn the big 23 today. Short post in honor of her being old.

L-A-Z-Y + diamonds

2009-03-03T07:00:00.000-08:00

Some of you have pointed out that I have begun putting up a lot of videos on my blog. This is true. There will be another video on Thursday. Part of the reason that this is happening can be explained by a general sense of apathy on my part. I just don't feel like writing and I don't care to put in the time right now to think about it, but I do want to appease the often angry mob that is my reader base. To compromise, I give you cheap entertainment. It's kind of like the husband who buys his wife diamonds to cover for the fact that he works 100+ hours a week and is never home. This way I can keep you visiting the site so that when I do have something important to say, you are here to read it.

The good news is that I plan to start writing more once I get caught up on sleep. This past weekend I managed to get 4 hours of sleep in a 48 hour period. It was not good. As I talked with my beautiful wife on Sunday night, I realized that I couldn't remember the past four days at all. Either I'm going crazy or I just need to sleep. So to sum up, expect lots of good writing to start appearing in the middle of next week sometime. For now, enjoy the the shiny rocks.

How things work: TV Speakers

2009-02-27T07:00:00.000-08:00

For those of you who lie awake at night thinking, "How do the speakers in my TV work?" Wonder no more. This amazing video will explain all.

Finally a reason for why God made video games

2009-02-26T17:04:00.000-08:00

Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The Apocalypse?

I wanna be super

2009-02-26T07:30:00.000-08:00

Here's a fun site to visit for those of you with a little extra time on your hands. I created the awesome looking super dude pictured above. If you are wondering why he has suspenders, wonder no more. They are there to keep his pants from falling down. Enjoy

What's up doc (lame title)

2009-02-25T10:33:00.000-08:00

I'm gonna be a doctor!!! Woot!

More Pew Pew less QQ (pwned)

2009-02-23T12:43:00.000-08:00

First off, since I know there is at least one reader of this blog who is under 16, there is adult language in this video clip. Please don't watch this without getting permission from your parents first. Seriously, stop reading and go ask your parents before continuing. Secondly I do not condone the language in this clip. On the other hand, if you have ever played video games online, you will have experienced this. And you have probably wanted to use these adult words. Don't. Just because professional actors use them, that doesn't make them appropriate for the real world. We have all been newbs at one time or another. Life goes on. On a happier note, I like to think I have never done this before - I at least put my mike on mute before going afk.

Update: I have relinked the video. Sorry about that.

Reuben's tube?

2009-02-13T16:50:00.000-08:00

The guy in the video looks like maybe this was shot in the late '80s. That may be why I have never heard of a Reubens tube. Whatever the case, this is pretty amazing. Almost as amazing as the mullet.

You do what?

2009-02-06T06:30:00.000-08:00

The rumors are true. I am now a music teacher for grades K-10 at Bios Christian Academy in Gilbert. What's that you say? You thought I only taught math, and grades 4-6, and managed the computers, and substituted for various other subjects? Well, you are wrong. As the resident renaissance man, whenever the call goes out for a new subject to be taught, I answer courageously. I am the rubber plug that stops the flow of injustice. I am the mirror that reflects the light from the bathroom to prevent stubbed toes in the dark of the night. I am the spell checker that prevents words from being spelled eroneously... erroneosly... erroniously... aironeiously... wrongly. I am the abacus that calculates at break-neck speeds. I am the head of the department of redundancy department. I am the headache in the criminal mind. I am the public on public transportation. I am the surprise you find in your cereal box. I am the neurosis that makes you spend $500 an hour on a shrink. I am the fingernails scraping on the souls of ne'er-do-wells. I am the batteries that are not included. I am the 3 AM wrong number. I am... rambling. That's enough for today I think.

Another six hours of interviews...

2009-01-29T09:30:00.000-08:00

If today is Thursday or Friday between the hours of 8 AM and 2 PM, as you are reading this I am interview for med school. On Thursday I interview at Midwestern in Glendale and on Friday I'm at AT Still in Mesa. Your prayers are appreciated. As usual, I'm a little nervous and a lot excited.

For the nerds

2009-01-28T19:56:00.000-08:00

This is a fairly long video, about 15 minutes. Sorry. I didn't make it. Don't be mad at me. This guy talks about some of his inventions. The first one is pretty amazing. If you aren't much of a nerd, you can turn it off around minute 4 or so. Otherwise, the whole 14 minutes is pretty fun.

Become a groupie

2009-01-27T06:00:00.000-08:00

Those of you who are especially observant will note the new gadget I have placed on the right side of the screen. Now with just a few clicks of the mouse, you too can become a groupie. It's just like back in the day when you followed around the Grateful Dead and sang along with Jerry Garcia (You Deadheads out there know who you are, don't be ashamed). Anyway, now you can be a Be Radical groupie, or as I like to call you, Roupies. Clever, wouldn't you say?

The dumb and the dangerous

2009-01-26T10:33:00.000-08:00

***Thanks for visiting this site. Please see the disclaimer before continuing.***

On Saturday I worked a 21 hour shift. It was glorious. I got paged in at 12:30 in the morning, just after I fell asleep. I spent the next 14 hours in Sierra Vista. It was like going to another country. I could see Mexico from the hospital where we recovered. We used to fly down there, back in the day, but now we hire a driver. This is still nice because it allows us to sleep on the way. Somehow we made it down there in just over two-and-a-half hours.Since I was sleeping, I'm not entirely sure of all the laws that were broken to accomplish this amazing feat, but I was grateful all same.

As soon as I made it back to the office, I had two cases waiting for me. We recovered the first in about four hours before we had to head to the medical examiner's office to recover the second. At the M.E.'s our donor was a large 390 pounds! Even though our policies limit us to 350 pounds, we were told to proceed. I voiced my dissent, my team leader voiced her dissent, the other cutter voiced her dissent, and yet we were over-ruled by a higher-up who was sitting at home, completely unaware of the situation and the possible danger it posed. I became a little angry.

Working on a donor who is approaching 400 pounds is both dangerous and difficult. First, we have to move the donor onto the exam table. Dead weight, despite what physics tells us, is heavier than live weight. This is dangerous for us to do. Not only do we have to move four hundred pounds very delicately and figure out all the nuances involved with that, but if we drop the body, it will be nearly impossible for the four of us on the team to pick the body back up. Then, once we start recovery, working inside a four hundred pound person is rather difficult because of all the fat. It was just a bad situation all around.

There was so much fat that we would cut out large chunks of it (5x5x2 inch sections) just so we could find the muscles and bones. It was absolutely disgusting. We had a dickens of a time disarticulating the femur because the adipose tissue overwhelmed the pelvis. We could barely see anything. It was so frustrating to do this case.

I am in no way try to insult any who is overweight. I am grumbling about a ridiculous decision made by a superior who was unaware of the situation and who chose to put four people into a dangerous situation for no good reason. We have policies for a reason and this person made a poor decision.

After twenty-one hours on the job, I finally got to go home around 9:45 that night. I can't wait until I can go to med-school so I can get some sleep...

Youtube is funny

2009-01-21T07:17:00.000-08:00

Here's the deal: I haven't listened to the sound on this video, so I don't know what it's like. I watched the whole thing on mute. But it's a pretty amazing trick this guy does. And just when you think he has done the impossible, it gets better.

First impressions

2009-01-14T10:36:00.000-08:00

I have been teaching full time for just over a week now and I have to be completely honest: I love it. Working with 4th-6th graders all day is a blast. I was talking with my brother last night and we came to the conclusion that teaching is in our blood. Our grandpa teaches, our uncle teaches, our dad teaches, and our mom teaches. We can't help wanting to be teachers ourselves. Maybe, if you're lucky, one day your kids will be taught by the brothers Ihms and thus become the smartest kids in the world.

Another critical update? How is this possible?

2009-01-09T07:29:00.000-08:00

I just realized that I haven't updated what is going on in my life for too long. Many things have changed in the past month alone, so hopefully this won't take too long.

I started a new job. Starting in January, I became a full time elementary teacher. I love it. The school I work for is called Bios Christian Academy. It's a pretty new school with only about 40 students. Right now it is first grade through tenth but next year it should be K-12. I still work with the high school students and math sometimes, but officially I teach elementary. More on Bios next week.

With the new job have come changes to the old one. I still work with Donor Network, but I have cut my shifts from five to three a week and I have crammed all three into the weekend. It hasn't been too bad so far, but I spend 24 hours in a 40 hour period on call every weekend. This could end up being pretty tiring, but for now it is working well. Working for Donor Network has been good for me because they have always been so kind to me as far as giving me exactly what I want for a schedule. It has been a great experience.

Finally a quick update on med schools. I have interviewed with two schools so far but have not heard anything back, good or bad. I spent some time shadowing the provost of one of the schools I applied to and he said he would put in a good word for me. And that's about it there. I am still hoping to know something definite by late February or early March.

Eeeek

2009-01-07T07:00:00.001-08:00

Med school interview today in Tucson. Nervous and excited. Both make me jittery. Pray. Pray hard.

New Year's Cliche

2009-01-05T09:40:00.000-08:00

I have decided to do the typical New Year's post. Lame. I understand. But more will be forthcoming this year. More great posts that knock your socks off, not more lame posts. I have a brief 15 minute break in my day which should allow for more frequent posting. So, if all goes according to plan, you should start seeing consistent posting on a daily basis.

Which brings us to the resolutions section.

Resolution 1

Write on blog at least 4 times a week. I'm sure this will fade quickly, but with any luck, I might keep this one until April...

Resolution 2

Start a Bible study for married couples. Jamie and I really see a need for this in our community and in our own lives. We have at least 7 married couples we can think of that we would like to meet with and possibly more. Hopefully we can get on this and get it started soon.

Resolution 3

Read the Bible. My plan is to read through the Old Testament once and the New Testament twice. Right now I'm going at it the way the US hopes to get out Iraq - no real plan, just me and the Bible and a goal.

Resolution 4

Go camping with my wife at least once this year. We have the camping stuff, we probably have the time, I just don't have the motivation. Here it is. I'm resolved to do this.

Resolution 5

Lose weight. Just kidding.

Resolution 6

Get into med school? Can I resolve to do this? I don't really have much control over this, but this is my goal for this year - to start med school.

Resolution 7

Come up with a better list of resolutions for next year.

Semi-critical update

2008-12-14T10:55:00.000-08:00

I have my first two interviews for med school scheduled. They are both with UofA. My interview with the Phoenix campus is this Wednesday and the Tucson interview is in mid-January. I'm pretty excited about this, a little nervous, but mostly excited. Although this is a big deal for me, I am at most cautiously optimistic. This is a step in the right direction, but only a step, I haven't reached my destination yet. Anyway, that's all I feel like writing now.

Babysitting teaches me so much

2008-11-11T20:15:00.000-08:00

My beautiful wife and I did some babysitting this past weekend. We both learned so much from the experience, and maybe I will share some of our newfound wisdom later. However, I did find this little gem due to a helpful hint from one of the little midgets. Enjoy.

A little something till the cows come home

2008-10-26T15:48:00.000-07:00

I just got a motorcycle. It's a 2002 Kawasaki ZR 750 and it's wonderful. I don't really have the energy to post right now, my beautiful wife and I have been babysitting four rugrats for the last four days, and we are beat. So in lieu of a post, I have the next best thing a link to someone else's work. This is a funny article buy a rather clever writer. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Stay tuned...

Mid-life crisis

2008-10-20T19:33:00.000-07:00

As you already know, I am getting older. Recently I turned the ripe old age of twenty-four. My body no longer recovers quickly after playing sports. I tried some football last week and I couldn't walk for days afterwards. My back constantly aches and my dentures don't stay in like they used to.

Anyway, I've decided to succumb to a mid-life crisis. I spent this past weekend learning how to drive a motorcycle. I need to give a shout-out to RideSmart motorcycle training. For three days they showed me the ropes of riding. It's really hard. It's not at all like riding a bicycle. There are lots of knobs and levers and buttons and thingies. After the first day, the spread was 3-1 against me actually graduating. By the end of the second day, even I was betting against myself. But I got my Class-M license after all and I'll be getting a bike soon. So stay off the sidewalks for a while.

A list of things that bug me

2008-10-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

This should be a short list, but it's not. These are some of the things that I dislike as of late. I'm not grumbling or complaining, just sharing.

1. Mandatory meetings that don't involve me and disrupt my life

2. People who have a poor work ethic

3. People who are incompetent, arrogant, and do shoddy work and still get paid more than I do for doing the same job

4. Dogs that won't learn to not jump on guests

5. Medical schools that charge me over and over just to have my application considered

6. People who don't know the lyrics to a song but insist on singing along anyway

7. People who take their shoes off during church and have smelly socks on

8. Watermelons

9. People who think my dog is a cat

10. People who like cats

11. Cats

12. Legal disclaimers

13. Being employed yet having no work and subsequently no money

14. The Technical Support line for Rosetta Stone (the language company) where I have spent countless hours on the phone holding to talk to a real person and yet I can never seem to reach one

15. Demon children

16. Downloading updates for computer programs

17. Getting bills in the mail

18. Hearing my phone ring at eight in the morning because a phone solicitor from the east coast thinks it's eleven

19. Myspace

20. People who insist on making things awkward even though the water is under the bridge

21. People who watch "Lost"

22. Cats (Yes, I know this is on the list twice)

23. People who tip 10% and think they are doing their server a favor

24. People who call their pets "my children", "kids", or any other personification of animals

25. Blogs that have post with lists in them two days in a row

Disclaimer

2008-10-14T15:35:00.001-07:00

After talking with the team of lawyers that handles the legal aspects of my blog, I have been advised to post a disclaimer concerning the nature of what I write.

Let's make a pretty little list, shall we?

1. Any opinions of the Author on the Site are or have been rendered based on specific facts, under certain conditions, and subject to certain assumptions, and may not and should not be used or relied upon for any other purpose, including, but not limited to, for use in or in connection with any legal proceeding. (I'm not entirely sure what this means, but I mean it!)

2. The Information may be changed without notice and is not guaranteed to be complete, correct, timely, current or up-to-date. Similar to any printed materials, the Information may become out-of-date. The Author undertakes no obligation to update any Information on the Site; provided, however, that the Author may update the Information at any time without notice in the Author’s sole and absolute discretion. The Author reserves the right to make alterations or deletions to the Information at any time without notice.

3. This site is for entertainment purposes only. In no way should someone feel there is medical advice being dispensed and no doctor-patient relationship will be established.

4. Any information posted about my employment, past or present, is technically fictitious and used for illustrative or educational purposes.

5. This site is maintained and owned exclusively by Benjamin E. Ihms, all rights reserved. All opinions expressed herein are those of the author only, and do not represent the positions of his employers or any medical facility or organization with which he is affiliated.

6. If you need to contact me, please do so through the proper legal channels. My lawyers can be reached at beradical.lawteam@gmail.com

7. If you see a small black and white dog running around, his name is Turkleton and he is very ferocious. Be careful.

Disclaimer

2008-10-14T15:09:00.000-07:00

After talking with the team of lawyers that handles the legal aspects of my blog, I have been advised to post a disclaimer concerning the nature of what I write.

Let's make a pretty little list, shall we?

3. This site is for entertainment purposes only. In no way should someone feel there is medical advice being dispensed and no doctor-patient relationship will be established.

4. Any information posted about my employment, past or present, is technically fictitious and used for illustrative or educational purposes.

6. If you need to contact me, please do so through the proper legal channels. My lawyers can be reached at beradical.lawteam@gmail.com

7. If you see a small black and white dog running around, his name is Turkleton and he is very ferocious. Be careful.

UPDATE:

8. By visiting this site you agree to abide by the terms listed on this disclaimer page. You also agree to take no action detrimental to the reputation or employment of the author based on this website and/or its content.

9. This will look a lot like number four, but any stories posted on here are entirely made up. As far as this site is concerned EVERYTHING IS FICTITIOUS. That is all. Thank you.

10. This is ridiculous that I have to have this disclaimer page.

A quick update

2008-09-19T11:09:00.000-07:00

I'm not really feeling the whole writing thing today, but I am feeling a little guilty about not blogging. To compromise, I will concede a brief update on life as I know it.

-Jamie landed her first client in the wedding industry and she is now the proud founder of Designer Events

-All my applications have been sent out to various medical schools in the southwest. I am now just waiting anxiously for replies

-I turned 24 recently and I can tell that I have just begun the long decent into becoming an old man. For the first 23 years of life, you are young. When 24 hits, you start to become old.

-My brother got married.

-That last one is a complete lie.

-Demerol is not five times stronger than morphine, but it is less addictive.

-I love teaching math at my dad's school. I have been doing that twice a week for a while and it is pretty awesome.

That's it.

Ugly little things, aren't they?

2008-09-09T08:55:00.000-07:00

If you know me well, you will know that my favorite animal in the world is Ailuropoda melanolueca. So in a rare display of sentimentality here is a picture of some baby pandas recently born in China. (An unsolicited "ahhhh" emitted from my mouth too when I first saw the pics, it's nothing to be ashamed of.)

Loosing my cool

2008-09-08T14:08:00.000-07:00

On Sunday I went to church.

I’m getting good at my beginnings, aren’t I? That is one good sentence; it’s nicely composed and yet it’s very simple; it conveys meaning without too much confusion; it's really rather elegant. Picture me patting myself on the back.

Anyway, Pastor Justin is about to start a Proverbs series, but he has taken the past two weeks to talk about the gospel. Last night was about idols that get in the way of the gospel. He gave a long list of things that are common idols and after much soul searching I believe I have identified my major idols. So, I thought I would share some of the things I idolize.

But first some of the other contestants.

Competitiveness – being first or better than other people

Not lonely – being with a boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife, and not being single

Feeling good – drinking, drugs, or sex that fills this need inappropriately

Money – not being poor

Fame – everyone knowing your name

Power – being able to tell people what to do

These are not where my struggles typically lie. There are three main areas that I generally place too much of an emphasis on.

I idolize being right. I don’t like people to think I’m wrong, because I never am. Ever.

I idolize my appearance. I strive to be attractive and work really hard to stay in shape and dress well.

I idolize knowledge. Being smarter than everyone else, knowing something about everything is extremely important to me and knowing more than other people

The really bad news is that I am turning 24 soon. Which means that I will no longer be cool. Which means that I can’t rely on my coolness to mask my character flaws any more. Which means that I am going to have to start praying harder. Well, actually, I guess that’s really not that bad after all.

International Art

2008-09-01T07:17:00.000-07:00

If you happen to be in Nairobi, Kenya any time in the next three weeks, stop by the GoDown Arts Center for a terrific art show. The artist who painted the fantastic painting in our living room sent me this advertisement. Dennis Muraguri is pretty phenomenal and his art is definitely worth looking into.

A little goes a long way

2008-08-29T20:52:00.000-07:00

Call me Ishmael. What a great opening. I was reading a book that discussed this very line. It delved into the idea of changing the punctuation of the line and how a single comma could irrevocably and completely destroy this thing of beauty. For example, "Call me, Ishmael." Could imply that the author wanted a dude named Ishmael to return his call. Or if you put the comma in a different place, "Call, me Ishmael." makes it sound that the author is a caveman introducing himself to another named Call. Which makes no sense whatsoever.

Even though this wasn't the point of the book, it brought up a good point: Punctuation is important. It can ruin an amazing book or it can launch an illustrious career in novel writing. So, watch your punctuation, you never know who's reading your writing,

Just kidding, I put that comma there on purpose just to throw you off.

Going green

2008-08-27T14:55:00.000-07:00

In an effort to save the planet, I will be making this a short post in order to reduce personal carbon dioxide emissions, dihydrogen monoxide consumption, and oxygen intake. Thanks for your understanding.

Does an elephant really never forget?

2008-08-22T06:00:00.000-07:00

To begin with, the picture above is exactly what you think it is. Those are elephants. I was there. I took the picture. I'm scarred and I wanted you to know my pain.

On to the serious stuff.

Sometimes I wonder if the me of 15 years ago would be proud of the me that I am today. Introspective soliloquies typically progress to rambling after the initial point. So rather than bore you with more, I shall stop there.

Can I have what that guy is on

2008-08-21T06:45:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when I began to post, the words just seem to appear. I sit down at the computer and inspiration strikes as my fingers began to navigate their way around the keyboard seemingly of their own free will. Actually it's quite the experience because I will be sitting there, staring at the screen wondering what's going to happen next. Once I was sitting at the computer and my fingers started typing a scary story - it scared the willies out of me.

But I digress, today is one of those days. I decided that I needed to blog, but I didn't know what to write about, so I just sat down and let my fingers work their magic. I'm sorry. I didn't know they wouldn't be at the top of their game today and they would produce this debacle. I recently read a story about a guy who received whole arm transplants. The doctors think it will be about two years before they know if the new arms will work or not. I wonder if I could get other magic fingers transplanted to replace these defective ones. They are certainly pretty lackluster. We'll see.

Barely even a post

2008-08-13T09:49:00.000-07:00

As the loyal reader probably knows, my wife and I have two dogs. To help catch up any new people let me explain. No, there is too much. I will summarize: I have two dogs.

Anyway, since one of the dogs has slowly been driving us crazy, we enlisted the services of a crack team of specialists to help us figure out how to control our dog. The pet psychic really wasn't much help. He seemed to think our dog was some Confederate General trying to communicate to us from the grave. But he wouldn't tell us the general's name or what he wanted - we were supposed to figure it out from listening to the dog. The pet psychologist thought the dog was acting out because of abandonment issues. We did get her at the pound (the dog, not the psychologist) which led some credence to the diagnosis, but we couldn't really figure out how to work the dog through her abandonment issues so we moved on. The dog whisperer really tried. He tried hard. But I'm pretty sure he was blind because he kept whispering into the ear of a stuffed bear that sits on our couch for decoration and, well, things didn't progress like we were hoping. The exorcist was just a bad call on my part. We're not even going to go there. We also tried asking a ninja, because ninjas can do anything. The only problem is, ninjas are hard to find, if they're any good. So we gave up on that one. The plumber stopped by that day and so we asked him too. He was less than enthused. Our last hope was the dog trainer.

He came highly recommended: trained by Israeli special forces, able to type 83 words per minute, fluent in five languages, marathon runner, chocolate-dipped cricket eater, and brother to three - he was definitely exactly what we were looking for. Basically he took one look at the dog and said, "She needs more exercise. Run her lots every day." Then he left.

Amazingly he was right. So now we have to very calm dogs. And my wife and I are in very good shape. Everyone wins. Except that Confederate General guy, I'm still not quite sure what he's trying to say.

Ode to Beaker - the funniest muppet ever

2008-08-08T08:00:00.000-07:00

I stumbled on this quite by accident, but it's pretty awesome. Generally I try not to trawl youtube for funny videos, but this one fell in my lap. Enjoy.