Ho Ho Ho, Married Christmas

Christmas as a child is fun, being married at Christmas time: wonderful! This is my first Christmas with my new bride and it was the best one ever.

This may sound corny, but remember to give God thanks for the best Christmas present ever. He is the reason for the season after all (I'm sorry, even though it's true, I feel like that saying is so trite...). Anyway, merry Christmas.

I don't have much else to say for now, so I will leave you with this little jewel of wisdom: when it is Christmas time, and a polar bear stops by the house and invites you to dance, let the bear lead.

Eat your heart out neverland

I don't have much time before class, but I promised a picture today. This one isn't so much funny as it is really cool. This is a real live picture of a baby mermaid born in Asia (yes, I realize that Asia is by far the biggest continent. No, I can't be more precise, I can't remember the exact country, maybe China...). The baby was born with her feet and legs joined together, but doctors were planning to separate them when I first read this story. The good news is that now when people ask you if you have ever seen a mermaid in that condescending voice that ridicules and shames, you can proudly raise your chin and declare, "Yes, I have."

You're welcome.

You're called a what?

Life has been a little crazy lately, and with school coming to a climax in the next couple of weeks, there seem to be few imminent signs of the craziness stopping. The good news? I already have most of my Christmas shopping done. Most of you know how much I hate shopping, but this year I went in with a plan: I bought everything almost exclusively online. I love those crazy tubes that we call the internet. (Read why that last sentence is at least semi-funny here). Oh, and for those of you who were disappointed by the lack of Picture Tuesday yesterday, fear not, it will arrive tomorrow.

Why is life so busy all of a sudden? I'm sure it has something to do with my new job. I am now officially a Chili-Head. That's right, I work at Chili's as a waiter. And I love it. Some people were made to serve, and I am definitely one of them. When I waiter (I'm pretty sure "waiter" can be used as a verb), I have so much fun that I hate to leave when my shift is over. If I didn't have homework, things to do, and most importantly a beautiful wife, all waiting for me at home, I might stay there forever. I love the busy-ness of the job, scurrying about trying to make sure drinks are full, food is brought out and dishes are clear, the panic at remembering you forgot to ring in a table's order, the bitter taste of defeat when you get a $2 tip on a fifty dollar meal and the high of getting a ten dollar tip on a $20 meal. It's intense, sometimes hard, sometimes overwhelming, but it's what I love. Those are the situations are thrive in.

So if you are ever out at 20th street and Camelback in Phoenix, stop in and ask for me. I'll be happy to take your order, and maybe, just maybe, I'll bring the right one out to you...

A$$ets

First off, I'm sorry if the language of today's post offends you. This is just a funny picture and doesn't necessarily reflect my preferred vocabulary. Second, I am already running late, so this is about all you are getting today. The good news is that I have been making lots of money the past couple of days. The bad news is that I have had to work to get that money. That's my plan for the rest of today as well. Happy Tuesday.

Warning: this post may be a little more fun than usual

I'm sorry about the lack of posting over the holiday weekend. The best excuse I can come up with is that I was busy (although that is not entirely untrue). So anyway, because I feel bad about not posting, here is a little something special to start off the week. The site is pretty sweet. It allows you to create your own custom warning label. I had a lot of fun with it. I can only hope that you enjoy it as much as I did. Have a great week.

Smells like pepper...

For those of you who have been sending me complaint letters about the lack of Picture Tuesdays for the past five months, it's time to stop. Picture Tuesday is back and better than ever. I have an awesome lineup of funny pictures all set to be posted for this brand new season of BeRadical. As always, I welcome your feedback, and if you send in a particularly interesting comment, I may even post about it in the future. Have a great Tuesday.

What do you do when the clock strikes 13?

Welcome back to Laugh-Out-Loud Monday. Here's a funny joke to kick this new season off. Enjoy.

The other night a blonde was invited out with the girls. She told her husband she would be home by midnight. Well the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. At 3am, she went home a bit loaded. Just as she walked in the door the cuckoo clock cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing her husband might wake up, she cuckooed another 9 times.

She was really proud of herself with coming up with a solution to being late when totally smashed.

The next morning, her husband asked her what time she got in, she said midnight. He didn't seem mad at all, and she felt like she got away with it.

But then he said we need a new cuckoo clock. When she asked him 'Why?'

He said.. Well last night the clock cuckooed 3 times, then said 'Oh dang it, cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted'.


Monday will be over soon. Don't drink and drive.

This is the start of something beautiful...

I'm back to posting here. I have really missed my blog and now I am staying busy enough that I should have stuff to talk about. With the addition of Friday Flicks, it would seem that BeRadical is now on the cutting edge of technology.
It's good to be back.

So long, farewell...

Well, it certainly has been a while since I last posted. Sorry about that. This summer has been busy and I have been thinking about other things (read: just got married!). Anyway, my wife and are going to be working on a blog together now. Hopefully most of the content ideas will transfer over, like Picture Tuesdays and maybe Laugh Out Loud Mondays. I will be keeping this site activated, so if you get bored you can come back and read through the archives, but no new posts will be arriving.

The new site is called Pandamonium and you can visit it whenever you want. The posts should be going up every day, so check back often.

Laugh out loud Monday

Here's a joke for all you psychics out there...

I'm not a resident of Crazy Town, yet

When people ask me what my hobbies are, I really don't know what to tell them. I don't even really know what constitutes a hobby. In the interest of science, I decided to look it up. According to Webster.com a hobby is: "a pursuit outside one's regular occupation engaged in especially for relaxation."

This seems a little ambiguous. Under this definition, I have friends who have the hobby of myspace. Call me crazy, but I just refuse to call myspace a hobby. It's really more of a plague that some people seem to catch. Unplug the computer before you catch this dreadful disease. It consumes time and makes people put really idiotic things online. It ruins their lives. For the love of pete, just say no to myspace.

But I digress.

We are still working on what exactly a hobby is. I think a hobby is a mentally, physically or artistically constructive activity that occupies otherwise boring downtime.

Wow, that's pretty profound. Read over that again. Yup, that seems to be a really good definition. I should probably get into the dictionary business if this whole blog thing doesn't work out.

Back to me wondering if I actually have any hobbies. Since I have already finished one book this week and I am working furiously to finish my second before Friday, I would take a gander that reading might be one of them. I'm not sure if reading is a true hobby, but if it is, I'm in. I probably would have gone crazy long ago if not for the escape that I find in reading. My mom has this tote bag that says "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read." I love books. They help me keep from going nuts. If it wasn't for books, I would need to go shopping for a new white jacket with extra long sleeves, if you know what I mean. So, in the name of preserving my sanity, I'm off to read some more.

Update

Just a quick update: I have given the new guy his own profile (I know, I'm way too nice), so now you will know who is posting what. Essentially he's responsible for getting most of the posts put on the web. I will be writing when I need to, but you should see his name coming up more often. Yay for interns...

On a frictionless plane in space...

I'm terrible sorry about the post on Friday. I've spoken with the new guy about it. Let's just say that he has been warned. He won't be pulling another stunt like that again.

In other news, I am currently in talks with some people about starting up a new blog. BeRadical will stay on the web, but it probably won't be updated. Ever again. Don't worry, this won't be taking place for about a month or two. We still have some things to discuss, like a site name and how the responsibilities will be divvied up. I'm hoping it will look a lot like what I have here, just better.

Anyway, here's a little joke for you physics people out there. If you don't get it, leave a comment and I can explain it on Wednesday.

A farmer is having problems with his chickens. All of a sudden, they begin to get very sick and he doesn't know what is wrong with them. After trying all conventional means, he calls a biologist, a chemist, and a physicist to see if they can figure out what is wrong. So the biologist looks at the chickens, examines them a bit, and says he has no clue what could be wrong with them. Then the chemist takes some tests and makes some measurements, but he can't come to any conclusions either. So the physicist tries. He stands there and looks at the chickens for a long time without touching them or anything. Then all of the sudden he starts scribbling away in a notebook. Finally, after several fierce calculations, he exclaims, 'I've got it! But it only works for spherical chickens in a vacuum.'

Have a great Monday everyone.

A post for Friday after a long week

This is today's post. It did not require much effort or time, but at least it's a post.

Fat a day keeps the doctor away

Since I really don't have anything to discuss today, you are in for a special treat. I'm going to share a little piece of info with you that will change the way you eat. This is a little gem of knowledge that should benefit you for years to come.

Some people like salads, they claim they are healthy. Guess what? They're right. But, when you are heating your healthy salad full of healthy vitamins like Vitamin K, or A, or D or E, you may be just eating and not really doing anything beneficial. You see, these vitamins, and other healthy minerals, are fat soluble, but not water soluble. This means that water won't associate with these vitamins. And if they aren't picked up by water and there is no fat to grab onto them, your body will just keep them going right on their merry way. It's like swallowing a rock as far as your body is concerned. It doesn't want it. But if you wrap it in a little fat, ahhh, then the body likes it a lot. So yummy. It absorbs the vitamin with the fat and poof! now you have vitamins.

So if you eat a plain old boring salad, these vitamins will just pass on through. To get the most out of your salad, pour a little salad dressing on it to ensure you get the most out of your eating experience. Ranch and Italian are some of the best, but any of them will work I suppose.

For those of you who are health conscious and don't just eat salads for their delicious taste, salad dressing can quickly undermine your diet. Whatever should you do? Try pouring a little olive oil on top. Not only is olive oil good for you but it helps those little vitamins do their job too.

Wasn't that helpful? Maybe I'll share some more hints another time. Like some tips about calcium. That's a funny subject. Wahoo. Good old calcium. Anyway, never say that I don't do anything for you. Hopefully I will have something good for you tomorrow.

A little weekend recap

Without further ado, let's discuss my weekend in California. We stayed at a beautiful hotel in downtown San Diego. We were within a five minute walk of the Gas Lamp Quarters so that was exciting. My RD, Ronnie, has a friend who was able to get us a room at a "Five star hotel" (according to Ronnie, it very well could have been, I just didn't verify the info). We stayed at the Westin right in the middle of downtown, next to a big, ritzy mall. We knew it was fancy from the very beginning when we found that they only had valet parking. The lobby was huge and luxurious, we definitely felt out of place. Our room was normally more than $300 a night. We got it for about $50. Yay us. Below is a picture of me in the lobby.


Over the next two days we went to the tide pools at Point Loma, walked around Mt. Solidad and cruised the beach. We played poker, ate out at nice restaurants and watched movies. It was pretty sweet.



But now I'm back and I've hit the ground running. There are about 20 days left until school is out, a marathon in my mind, but for some reason I'm sprinting for all I'm worth. If school doesn't kill me, Jamie will because I haven't gotten to see her much at all. Either way, I'm in trouble. I'm not even sure if I'll survive this week. God has been good in the past, we'll see if he comes through again. Here's hoping.

Sharpie: it's for all ages

Happy Picture Tuesday everyone. I'll see ya tomorrow.

Apply two coats and let dry

I made if back from San Diego alive. As much fun as we had, it's definitely good to be home. I love Arizona.

Also today is my brother's birthday. He's turning the big two-zero. It's hard to believe that twenty years ago my best friend was born. We've had some good times along the way. If you don't know him, it's your loss. He's one of the greatest guys you will ever meet. Anyway, onto Laugh Out Loud Monday.

This one may be a little crude, but it sure made me laugh.


So, there was a cowboy, who walks into a bar and angrily asks "Who painted my horse's ball yellaw?" No one answers. So for a second time, the cowboy asks again, "Which of you yellaw bellied chickens painted my horse's ball yellaw?" Then, suddenly, a big man, about 6'7" and weighing somewhere around 350 lbs stands up and says, "I did, you got a problem with it?" To which, the cowboy replies, "Well, sir, the first coat is dry"


See ya tomorrow.

All expense paid vacation

I'm off to San Diego today. Grand Canyon University loves me so much that they feel I deserve some rest and relaxation. Not one to argue, I suggested that they pay for the trip too. So, they are.

Here's a quick class update for my spring semester. My American Women class is still as exciting as ever. I think I'm getting an A in the class. I don't really invest a lot of time into it, but I seem to be doing fairly well. So that's good.

Physics is still physics. I show up to class, sometimes I do my homework and I take the tests. I think I have a grade in it. We'll see.

BioChemistry is fantastic. And that's no sarcasm. I love that class. It's kind of weird, the three classes that have been the hardest for me at GCU (Microbiology, World Health and Social Justice, and BioChem) have all been my favorite classes. I honestly invest way too much time into BioChem, but I love it anyway. In class yesterday, my prof was saying that the final was going to be hard, but she wanted to emphasize that all of her tests were hard. I was digging in my backpack for something at the time and when she said that I just looked up at her through the tops of my eyes and nodded my head gravely. Her tests really are hard. She thanked me for the look and continued on with whatever she was talking about. But the class is fascinating and it really makes sense to me. It is one of my favorites so far.

And that's about it. Three classes, 15 credits. What a screamin' deal. Anyway, I'm off to Californ-i-a. Have a great weekend.

You need a lot of gerbils to get a full glass...

So the new guy who was supposed to be keeping up with the posts has definitely been a slacker. I think he hasn't put up a single post in about a week and a half. When I found out about that, I was not happy to say the least. Let's just say that issue has been "dealt with" and leave it at that. A new, new guy has been hired to fill the job. I think he understands that failure is unacceptable in this dog-eat-dog business.

Anyway, onto the news. I spent a good twenty to thirty minutes yesterday milking grapes. It was my first time. Hopefully it was my last time. My professor was kind enough to encourage me in my efforts and remarked at how well I was doing. She also said that she thought it was probably easier than milking gerbils. I had to agree.

Yesterday I also spent about an hour with a couple of my groomsmen at the tux shop. They needed to get their measurements so we could send them back to Gilbert. I guess I didn't make it very clear that this was our intention when we walked into the store. The guy, some young, Western European snob was our salesman. He was grumpy and at times down right rude. Just when we were finishing, he asked if I knew my sales number. I told him that we weren't using his store for the tuxes. A big grin appeared on his face. He was so excited. He then cheerily asked if we needed anything else. Yeah. Weird. A salesman who doesn't like to sell.

That's about it for the updates. Tomorrow, there should be another post. Hopefully this new kid will figure out how the system works. If not, well, let's just say the Queen of Hearts will be brought in to determine the consequences. On that happy note, see ya tomorrow.

Dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge

Happy Picture Tuesday everyone. I just want you to know that the guy in charge of putting up the posts has been fired. It has definitely been about two weeks since the last post. I'm truly sorry. You will all get a full refund, plus an additional 10%. You are important to me and I would hate to lose you. Anyway, it's good to be back. I'll see you tomorrow.

C^2 = A^2 + B^2

I know, I know, I promised no more puns, but this one is really quite clever.

A mathematician visited a native American reservation.

He spoke with an old native American woman who was sitting on a buffalo pelt. She said, "My son runs so fast, he can reach that mountain all the way over there by sundown."

Then he spoke with a woman sitting on a coyote pelt. She said, "My son is so strong, he can wrestle a buffalo to the ground."

Then he spoke with a woman sitting on a hippopotamus skin. She said, "I have no sons. But I can run to the mountain before sundown, and I can wrestle a buffalo to the ground."

Then the mathematician realized that the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.

So this is love

I hope I'm not getting sentimental in my old age. But I think I'm coming down with something that resembles it. This week and next week I want to start a special series on the guys in my life who have had a tremendous impact on me. Don't worry though, the regular Monday and Tuesday stuff will continue. Before I begin this series, I want to talk a little about the one person who I don't talk enough about: Jamie.

I was talking with a buddy of mine the other day and I was reassuring him that he would one day understand what was going on in some girl's head; he just needed to be confident. He stopped, turned to me and said, "Do you have Jamie figured out?" I gave a sheepish grin. After almost three years, I still don't have a clue.

Here's what I have so far. She loves Jesus. This one is obvious. I can see it in her face and in her words. There is a joy there that never ceases to amaze me. I can tell that she is madly in love with God. I'm pretty fond of that in her.

She is very sensitive. That isn't to say that she takes offense at everything, no she is very sensitive as to what other people feel. She has a heart that is able to care for and love everyone around her and notice how they are doing.

She is wonderfully emotional. Sometimes Jamie apologizes to me because she feels that she is too emotional. I don't think she understands how refreshing it is to me. I don't tend to have a whole lot of emotional fluctuation throughout the day. Or week, for that matter. But Jame can go from being beautifully angry at me to sweet and loving to shy and embarrassed all in a matter of minutes. It is such a sharp contrast. I can honestly say that I love that about her.

This is going to have to be continued tomorrow. I have to get to class and then I have meetings and work until 11 tonight. I'm sorry to keep you waiting. It just can't be helped.

Smelly cat you need a bath

Hey it's Tuesday.Sorry about the title. I couldn't really think of anything good. The cat made me think about the famous smelly cat from Friends. Anyway, I have a huge lab report due tomorrow so I don't really have time to post much else. I'm pretty sure that this picture is doctored, but it's pretty funny all the same. Well, back to homework. At least spring break is next week. Wahoo.

Do you hate puns too?

Welcome to another addition of Laugh Out Loud Monday. Generally I hate puns, but I laughed when I read this one, so I decided to just go with it.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A No Eye-deer.

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no Eye-deer.

What do you call a deer with no eyes, legs, or body?
A Coatrack.


Okay, I'm sorry, today's post is just wrong. I'll do my best to make sure a pun never appears on this site again. Please don't hate me.

Potts is a good thing

How can you tell a man of God apart from your average Joe? You can see God working in his life.

Today's post shouldn't be too long and boring, but I wanted to look at this idea a little bit. You see, I meet with Chris Potts every Tuesday. I've talked about Chris before, he is my mentor and he has had a tremendous impact on my life in the short time that I have known him. We sit down at Arby's every week and have dinner and just talk. Sometimes I do most of the talking, and sometimes Chris does a lot of the talking, but somehow I always walk away praising God and feeling amazingly encouraged. Yesterday was no different. Even though I talked most of the time, Chris shared something with me that just blew me away. In circumstances beyond his control, he had let God do the providing. And God came through. From just a short conversation, I could see God moving in Chris's life and I thought to myself, wow, this is a man of God. I am so blessed to have a man like that speaking into my life on a consistent basis.

Having someone pour into your life is something I stress all the time. I think I need to add a qualifier to that: Have a man or woman of God pour into you. God has really used this in my life. I truly believe that everyone needs their own version of Potts.

Just as a side note, doing a GIS (for future reference, Google Image Search) for pot, does not turn up images of your standard cook ware...

Wrong place at the right time

It's Tuesday already. I slept through my first class today. I forgot how good that feels. Last semester I probably slept through two or three classes a week. This semester I try really hard to not skip class. With the classes I'm taking, I really can't afford to. I think I'm down to one every four weeks. That's pretty good.

This week shouldn't be too exciting, but you never know; the God I serve is definitely a God of surprises...

Was not expecting that

There was this Spanish guy, this Korean guy and this Russian guy all working for the same construction company.
At the beginning of the day the boss comes out and says to the Spanish guy, "You're in charge of the cement."
Then he said to the Russian guy, "You're in charge of the dirt."
Then he said to the Korean guy, "You're in charge of the supplies."
Then he said, "I'm gonna be back at the end of the day to check on your work. It better be good or you're fired." So they all go off to go get their work done.
At the end of the day, the boss comes back to check on their work. He looks at the big pile of cement and goes, "Good work," to the Spanish guy.
Then he looks at the big pile of dirt and says, "Good work," to the Russian guy.
Then he couldn't find the Korean guy so he asks, "Where the heck is the Korean guy?"
All of a sudden, the Korean guy jumps out from behind the big pile of dirt and yells, " SUPPLIES!"

Laugh out loud Monday strikes again. Here's hopin' your day just keeps getting better...

Just another day

I want you to know that I really tried hard to post yesterday. For about 20 minutes I sat and stared at the computer screen, waiting for inspiration to strike. I couldn't even get it to tickle. Today is not looking much better.

I'm actually doing an honest day's work today. Well, mostly. I'm supposed to be substitute teaching high school math at my dad's school. As far as I can tell, I'm doing a pretty good job. Nobody has died yet and everyone seems to be hard at work. A couple of people have had questions and if I didn't know the answer, I made one up. Yay me.

Last night, GCU brought in a company to run a money-less casino. Everyone got five hundred "dollars" at the door and then they could play at any of the games available. It was pretty neato. There were about eight blackjack tables, six poker tables, two roulette wheels and two craps tables. This was definitely one of the most well attended events GCU has had. I don't know if that means that it was just really fun or we have a school full of gambling addicts. I played at blackjack for most of the night. I did really well. I think I made about two or three hundred. But then I lost it all playing Texas Hold-em. Meh. At least it wasn't real money. I guess I don't have a future in gambling after all.

Anyway, enough rambling. Have a great President's Day weekend. I'm sorry today's post is so lame. I kept expecting inspiration to give me a good whack. I guess it left for vacation early for the long weekend like everyone else.

Where's the cow?

Yesterday was a long day for me. I was worn out, exhausted and swamped with homework. I ran out of time for dinner. Then my night class went an extra 50 minutes so I barely snuck in the door to Panda Express before they closed. I got the last of the orange chicken. Not a good idea. My stomach decided to rebel against me for that offense and fought back all night using guerrilla warfare. And as much as I love you all, today is looking to be just like yesterday (Although hopefully I won't have to quell any more violent uprisings). Honestly I just don't have time to write today. So to appease the mighty wrath that I know will come, here is a funny picture to keep you people happy until I feel up to writing again. Enjoy.

C4N u r3aD th!5?

I love that the "u" is gone from the "our" in this sign. It just makes it that more effective. I still laugh every time I see this one.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone. I hope you know that on this day of celebrating love, you remember that "we love because He first loved us." Yay for Jesus.

Why do we even have Mondays???

Milton Waddams: [talking on the phone] And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...



Here's hopin' you don't have a case of the Mondays...

Almost famous

So apparently I am about to be famous. Yup. Grand Canyon just sent out a flyer to all of their alumni for Homecoming printed on nice glossy paper. On the front cover is a picture of some students. One of those students happens to be me. Now people I don't know come up to me and ask me for my autograph. I have paparrazi following me around everywhere. It's tough. But I'm loving it.

Here's a link to the brochure. Have a good weekend.

My shelter in time of need

The week is almost over, if I can survive today. Isn't it great that God is faithful? He is described as a refuge in Psalms. When I think about a refuge, I think about a place for shelter during a storm. During the hurricanes, people would board up their homes and hope that they would be safe inside. With God, I don't have to make him any stronger, or better to know that I am safe. He is perfectly capable of being a refuge from the rain and wind all by himself. When I run to him to find my shelter, he is always strong. How cool is that?

All that is to say that this week has been incredibly busy, just not very stressful. Is it because I have less to worry about, or is it because I'm finally learning to trust that God isn't going to let me down when I need him? I really hope it's the latter. If not, that means He is going to continue to teach me the lesson until I finally learn. I think I'm ready to move on to a different issue. (I just hope it's not pride...) Sorry about not posting yesterday. I meant to. It just didn't happen. Some days are like that. I'm just glad that God isn't fickle like me.

Dynamite monkey

This one made the circuit a few years back. It's still funny. Oh, and I don't condone giving the finger to monkeys. Remember, monkeys have feelings too. Have a great Tuesday.

I hear dead people...

There's a guy who lives in Ohio. One morning, he hears a voice in his head, The voice says, "Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas." He ignores the voice.

Later in the day, he hears the voice again. "Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas." Again, he ignores the voice.

Soon he hears the voice every minute of the day. "Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas."

He can't take it any more. He believes the voice. He quits his job, sells his house, takes all his money, and flies to Las Vegas. As soon as he steps off the plane, the voice says, "Go to Caesar's Palace. He goes to Caesar's Palace.

The voice says, "Make your way to the Roulette table." He goes to the Roulette table.

The voice says, "Put all your money on red 23." He puts all his money on red 23.

The dealer spins the wheel. It comes up black 17.

The voice says, "Darn."

Here's hopin' your voices are saying something good on another beautiful Monday.

Two tests and no time

So I just noticed that I forgot to post yesterday. It was kind of a busy day. Kind of not. Actually, I really have no excuse. It just slipped my mind. Sorry.

Today isn't shaping up to be much better. I have 2 tests today. The hardest one will be in BioChem. It's such a cool class, we get to study about the way life works at a molecular level, but it takes a lot of effort to understand what is going on. So I'm off to study. I started last Friday. I'm so happy to finally be taking the test. It's almost a relief. If I feel up to it, I might treat you all to a post later this afternoon. Probably not, but you can keep your fingers crossed.

Arise my soul, arise

Today is picture Tuesday. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten. I have it posted below. I don't know if I'm the only one, but most days, when I get out of bed, thoughts of all I have to do immediately begin to race through my head. All the fears and inadequacies that were forgotten in the bliss of sleep come rising to the surface once again. My heart pounds and I once again wonder how I will ever make it through another day.

Today was no different from any other day for me. I woke up and my brain tried to kill me. I was overwhelmed within the two steps it takes to get to the sink to wash my face. I just sighed and leaned up against the wall. "God, can you help me?" I prayerfully pleaded. I have so much to do and things just keep piling up. After I got out of the shower, I sat down at my desk to have my quiet time. That's when it happened.

Here's what I read today in my devotions: "From the minute you wake up, your mind floods with thoughts of all there is to do and all the pains and inadequacies you feel. Base your life on what you know to be true instead of basing it on those feelings. You do that by preaching to yourself with statements like, 'Arise, my soul, arise! Shake off your guilty fears! The bleeding sacrifice on my behalf appears! Before the throne my [savior] stands!'" (Luke Simmons, Thirsty Ground)

I know that God loves me. And if "he who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" (Romans 8:32) My feelings will change with circumstances, but the promises of God are constant. Instead of listening to myself, I need to be talking to myself. God calls me his own; from his arms my strength will come.

When the cows come home...

As promised, Picture Tuesday has cows. These people have confused cows with rocks, cars and fido. But as momma always said, "Cows are cows." (Actually, my mother never said that. She didn't really talk about cows too much, except when mentioning her cow-tipping days in passing. Supposedly, she was one of the best in Kansas growing up. They called her the Little Tipper. She once set a record for most cows tipped in a night. Eighteen. Yup, that's a lot of cows. I think one of the reasons she was so good at it is because she didn't tip while drunk. She was committed to the sport and believed that it was an art, not a frat-boy prank. For more info on cow tipping, click here.) Enjoy your Tuesday.

What goes in must come out

A guy with a monkey on his shoulder walks into a bar. As soon as he sits down, the monkey is off his shoulder, going crazy. He eats a bowl of peanuts, and the bartender mentions it.
"Yeah, he eats everything. I'll pay for it."
The monkey runs over to the cocktail olives and eats them all. The bartender gets irate, and again the guy says, "yeah, he eats everything. Sorry, I'll pay for it."
The monkey jumps on a pool table and in one quick motion, snatches up the cueball and swallows it. The bartender yells, and the guy collects his monkey, apologizes and pays for all the stuff.

A week later, the same guy comes in with the monkey, and as soon as he sits down, the monkey is on the bar. He runs over to a bowl of cherries and snatches one up. The bartender watches, disgusted, as the monkey looks at the cherry, sticks it up his bum, pops it out, then eats it. He tells the guy what just happened, and he says, "Yeah, I'm not surprised. Ever since he ate that cue ball, he measures everything first."


Hope your New Year's resolution to watch what you eat is going well.

Riddle me this

Here's a question for you all to ponder: If I post that I'm not going to post today, does that count as a post? And therefor, did I lie? Beats me, but this is all you're getting. Maybe I'll be nice and post on Saturday to make up for today. Probably not. But you can hope. Oh, and on Tuesday, I have some random funny cow pictures. That's right pictures, not picture. It should be a real hoot. Wahoo. Have a safe and sober weekend.

Looks like I might be sticking around...

I think I mentioned this already, but on Sunday I pretty much experienced what most people would call a breakdown. I was stressed out with a number of things, but one of the major issues was the practice MCAT test I had taken the day before. The practice test was designed to give me a baseline score that is supposed to accurately predict how I would do on the test if I were to take it at this point in time. I was worried that I would fail the test and end up an unemployed screen door salesman in Greenland.

You see, the MCAT is essentially the biggest test of my life. It will greatly influence my chances of getting into medical school. To prepare for it, I have forked over a large sum of money to a national company that specializes in helping people do well on the test. The class began on Saturday with a practice test that was only 4 hours long, and then I go to class on Tuesdays and Thursdays for 3 hours until the end of April.

The MCAT itself is about 6 hours long, with a one hour break for lunch in the middle somewhere. It tests on a general knowledge of all the sciences, like O-chem, general chemistry, physics, biology, and physiology, and it also tests critical thinking. They (medical school people) want to know if you know anything, and if you can do anything with the information you have. The highest score possible on the test is a 45. Thirty points is the average for people getting into med-school, 24 is the average on the test. It's designed to weed out those not ready for the rigors of med-school. I'm shooting for a 36.

After taking the practice exam on Saturday, I was terrified. I was pretty sure that I had not done so well on the test (I found out that I was right in my assumption in class on Tuesday). It seemed that it was about time to start making sure my passport was current and that I was up to date on the latest screen door designs. Near the end of class, our instructor announced that she would finally be handing back our tests. First she was going to go over an example test to help us interpret our results.

On the example, the person had scored a 22. She looked up at us after reading that and gave a shrug of her shoulders. She told us that although she hadn't seen the results of the test yet, she guaranteed us that none of us would actually have a score that high; all of us would be below that mark and most of us would be significantly lower. I wrinkled my forehead in thought: who was having the best sale on international flights right now? I tried to remember from all those commercials.

Then our instructor announced that it was okay because the reason we were enrolled in the class was to bring our scores up. That made me happy. I just hoped I wasn't in the "significantly lower" category. Maybe, just maybe I wouldn't have to move to Germany (That's where they train the screen door salesmen before sending them out).

When the tests were finally handed back, I found that I had scored a 23. You can imagine my joy at that moment. I had spent the past 72 hours worrying that I wouldn't get into med-school because I had bombed a practice test. I drove home that night praising God. I still had bombed the test, a 23 is definitely below average and way below the number needed to get into med-school. But, God had found a way to encourage me by letting me exceed even the highest expectations of the instructor. I wasn't so scared about the coming months. If nothing else, I didn't have to try and find my suitcase.

I have my work cut out for me. But God hasn't let me down yet, and whether my actual score in April is high or low, it's wonderful to know that he's looking out for me. When the storm of life raged, and the thunder was all I could hear, He spoke softly to my soul. I guess break downs are a piece of cake for the God of the universe to handle. And I'm sure that if I ever do end up in Greenland, selling screen doors, He'll be there too.

System overload

I'm under the impression that Tuesdays are now out to kill me, forget about Mondays. I start out the day with class at 8:30 and I finish up the day with SALT ending at 10:30 at night. Once SALT is over with, I usually make it back to my room around 11:30. Now I'm no math major, but I think that works out to be about a 15 hour day. Also, whoever put my schedule together definitely forgot that I need to eat because that just wasn't put on the itinerary. If I didn't have a dinner meeting in there, Tuesday would become a day of fasting for me. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to survive a whole semester of that.

Thankfully yesterday didn't quite do me in. By the time I got back to my room last night, I was swaying on my feet a little, but not completely dead. I guess that's good. I think I'm just exhausted now. I already had my one breakdown for the week on Sunday, so I don't think I'm really allowed to have another one. I am definitely feeling a bit overwhelmed right now. That same person who put my Tuesday schedule together also put together the rest of my semester. I'm a little bit worried about how I'm going to maintain relationships this semester, let alone form new ones.

Of course the good news out of all this is that I'm really having to rely on God to make it through each day. Although my quiet times haven't been as regular as I would like, my prayer life has shown a dramatic improvement. I spend most of my days talking with God. It's pretty wonderful. So I guess that even though life is crazy and seems to want to swallow me whole, God is drawing me closer to him and since life really is all about God, things really are going well out here at Canyon.

It was the baby's idea... no really

Happy Picture Tuesday everyone. I'm really going to try hard to post this week. But this is shaping up to be one of those weeks where I don't even have time to breathe let alone write. Know that this is one of the last things I give up in a day. I love writing and this is my only creative outlet. Keep me in your prayers, if I can make it to Friday it will be only by a miracle. At least Monday is out of the way.

Poker face

This guy walks into a saloon, and watches with interest a group of men playing poker. Playing poker with the men is a dog.

The guy is transfixed as he watches the dog, and finally he says, "That's a pretty smart dog there!"

"Nah, he ain't so smart," says one of the men. "Whenever he has a good hand he wags his tail."

For those extreme emergencies

Obviously the pictures are working again, so I decided to make today Picture Friday, in honor of Tuesday not being able to make it this week. The Mr. GCU contest was last night, but because I don't have any pictures yet, I will just have to leave you hanging on the results. Since both Monday and Tuesday are feature days, I guess Wednesday will be the day. Have a great weekend.

Streams of mercy never ceasing, call for songs of loudest praise

Am I really desperate for God? Do I really desire him? Is there a passion for him evident in my life? The painting above is probably one of my favorites of all time. It's by Fransisco de Zurbaran, a spanish painter in the early seventeenth century. I love how the man's hands are clasped tightly in ferver and the anguish on his face as he silently cries out to heaven. It portrays the desperation that I want to have for God. I think it would be a lot harder to fall if I just spent more time on my knees. The psalmist talks about how the one thing that he wants it to be able to dwell in God's house forever. I want a passion like that in my soul. That desire to do more than spend a few fleeting minutes with God during quiet times. A desire to spend every waking moment with God, to dread sleep because it keeps me from praising God and spending time with him. If he really is the creator of the universe and if he really did call me out of darkness and hopelessness, then doesn't he deserve everything, especially my time?

Is Tuesday my new Monday?

I have terrible news. I can't get blogger to host my pictures today for some reason. So Picture Tuesday is being postponed until I can get it to work. Pretty much this is a great ending to a crazy day. Classes went fine, but I just have been running around like a chicken with its head cut off all day long. I seem to have gotten behind in everything even though my day is packed full of running from one thing to the next. My room is a mess, my hair is getting long and I'm behind in my homework. I just don't have time for anything. Hopefully the week will start to slow down here soon, but if not, I'll be checking in to the nearest insane asylum. So if I don't post next week, you'll know where to find me.

U-G-L-Y you ain't got no alibi...

Welcome to the first edition of Laugh Out Loud Monday. These jokes do not necessarily reflect my political or religious beliefs. For the most part, they're plain and simple funny. If it appears here, I laughed out loud when I first read it. I hope you enjoy this new series.

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.

The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."

Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing.
Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.

The guy calms down and says: " Make 'em all ugly again."

Happy Monday you wonderful, beautiful people.

I'm the one taking the picture...

So I didn't get a chance to post any more yesterday, sorry. But if you give me a chance to explain, I think you will understand. Yesterday I was offered a physics internship. For the most part it will be doing data entry in the beginning for about five hours a week. Eventually I should be able to take that data and put it into formulas and then the exciting stuff will start. My professor is working on a new classification system for hurricanes. So my job is to do the boring stuff and then let him interpret my results and become famous. It should be pretty fun. I'm not getting paid, but I will be getting upper division credits for the time I put in, so it seems to be a pretty good trade-off.

Also yesterday I went and talked to my buddy about working at Starbucks to become the next world famous barista. Yay me. If I get the position, I will probably be working on Fridays and Sundays, which are my two days for sleeping in. But right now income is more important than sleep. I'm thinking about picking up the coffee drinking habit again if I get the job. I can't say that I have missed it, but if it helps me stay awake...

So that's what's new in my life. The Mr. GCU dance is pretty funny. It really wasn't all that bad, so I guess I won't be too much of a laughing stock after the competition. Enjoy the long weekend and have a great MLK day.