Monday, June 15, 2009

Wow, you talk a lot

First of all, be prepared. This is a long one. But by the end, I discover what is most important (after God).

On July 3rd, my beautiful wife and I are moving. We are leaving the place we have called home for the past year and a half, and are traveling to the west side. It was a difficult decision to make, but in the end it seemed the best by far.

We approached the moving decision process from a number of different angles, and finally narrowed it down to three main points: cost, location, and proximity to friends and family. As far as cost goes, the new place, Sagestone, won by a landslide. We save almost 25% each month by moving. Now that we are going to be poorer students, we decided that saving money was a good idea.

Since Sagestone is located right across the street from my new school, it is strategically located. Where we live now would entail a 20-30 minute drive every morning and every afternoon. Closer is better.

The main downside to Sagestone is that it is far from our family and friends. Really far. This left some serious doubts in our minds for a long time. My in-laws always say, "People are more important." Was saving money and gas more important than being close to those we love? The answer is a resounding no.

So why are we moving? Because in all our calculations, I forgot the most important thing: I am married. (I didn't actually forget that I was married, I just forgot that in the decision process) You see, if I spend an hour a day on the road, and I spend eight intense hours at school, and then I come home and study, and then I go to sleep, and then I wake up and do it all over again, where does that leave my marriage? But if we live across the street from the school, that affords us much more opportunity to spend time with each other. Even if I just have a quick 30 minute break, I can run home and spend time with my wife. 

Some friends of my family talk about their med school experience. Like me, the husband went to school, and his wife stayed home. She says it was an incredibly tough time in her life. She never saw her husband. I don't want that for my wife. Now that we are married, my ultimate loyalty is to her (after God). She must come before my parents, my siblings, and my other friends. When all is said and done, if I have to choose one or the other, I will always choose her. Since this seems best for our marriage, we have chosen to move.

The good news is that the decision is not an all or nothing one. We can still have friends and family. We will just have to work a little harder at keeping those relationships healthy. But, in the long run it should be easier on our marriage. I should be able to better love my wife and take care of her. And that's what is most important.

1 comment:

Clo-clo said...

How is your summer going Mr. Ben?